Esposito - Caskett Shipper from the beginning
requested by caskett12
Did you ever take a look around and let the chaos sink in?
Think about it. The world is a tangled mess of one billion and a half things happening all at the same time. Your body alone is thousands and thousands of things happening all at once - your brain functions, your automatic breathing, blinking, mannerisms, nervous laughter, lip biting, and all those annoying or cute things that make up majority of who you are as a person to the outside world. Can you imagine feeling that? Feeling the entirety that your body goes through every second of every minute of every day of every year of your God forsaken life?
I have a lot of bad habits. I drink too much, I sleep too late, I consider walking around for 30 minutes while window shopping enough exercise. I love far too rarely, and always, always with the wrong person. I allow myself to get numb and then watch overly dramatic romantic comedies just so I can bawl like a baby without feeling like a dumbass.
I always tell my friends that you can do whatever the hell you want, just as long as you can face yourself in the morning. Dance on that table. Drink that extra shot. Make out with that douchebag. Tell that person that you like them and you are concerned about how much you think about them considering they probably don’t even spend a fraction of a day thinking about you. Just make sure that in the morning you can hold your head up high and tell the world, “yeah, I did that.”
I think my worst bad habit is torturing myself. That includes looking up all my exes on Facebook, reading blogs that I shouldn’t, and asking myself over and over again all the possible reasons that I am still alone.
But the truth is, I’m alone because I want to be alone. Not all the time, sure, and of course I get lonely, who doesn’t? But in the end, when I hear about all the troubles my friends have because of their relationships, I thank my lucky stars that the guys I like don’t like me back, and the guys that do like me creep me the hell out.
Oh, and if you haven’t already guessed, my one other favorite bad habit is self-pity. It is not a pretty picture.